Companionship and Love
by Ohmissbriana
Summary: James thinks about loyalty, companionship, and love while walking along a dark road in Los Angeles at 2:30 in the morning. Slash.


If you asked James Diamond how he was feeling today, he would say that he was just fine, thank you very much. But James was not fine. He was having a terrible day. It was not the _worst _day, mind you, but it was still terrible. The worst day of James life… well, it couldn't be summed up into one day. From the time he was eleven until the time he was sixteen, everyday was the worst day for him. Five years. Five years of worst days and abuse from his father.

But that was a story James didn't want to think about. He thought about a lot. His best friend, Logan, was supposed to be the "thinker" in James' little group of friends. But actually, James was the person who thought the most. He liked to think. He thought about why his other best friend, Carlos, was obsessed with wearing a helmet. He thought about why the sky was blue. He thought about peace, and war, and companionship, and loyalty. He thought about everything, basically. He would sometimes sit on his bed in the bedroom he shared with Kendall, and just _think_. However, when someone asked what he was thinking about, he replied with a casual "nothing". They were his thoughts. Why should he tell other people? So everyone assumed he was just staring off into space. They acted like he didn't have the capability to think. As if he were stupid.

There was one person James _did _tell his thoughts to, though. One person who didn't think he was stupid. That person listened to James no matter what he said. He trusted James, and he believed James was smart enough to do anything he wanted to.

That person was also the reason that James was walking along an empty road in Los Angeles at two thirty in the morning.

Earlier in the evening, at around eight thirty, James drove his shiny red convertible (something that James knew looked vain and expensive, but he didn't care because driving nice cars made him happy) to the same parking lot he had been driving to for nine years. He walked through the big glass doors that led to the lobby. It was the same lobby that he walked through nine years ago, to the day, with a smile on his face. Just like that day, he had a huge smile on his face, and he quickly passed by couples checking in to the Palm Woods hotel. James entered the elevator, which was mostly empty, and pressed the button for 2J. While he waited for the elevator to stop on his floor, he quickly sent a tweet to all of his fans. _"Long day at the studio. Can't wait to just chill on my couch! Xoxo JD"_. He pressed send, and then glanced at the few people in the elevator with him. There was an old woman, who seemed to be judging him with her eyes. That was fair, considering that the four hundred dollar leather Federico Beninni jacket he was wearing made him look a little "rough around the edges". His agent said it made him look like a bad boy, and that teenage girls _loved_ bad boys.

By the way the two teenage girls in the corner were looking at him, it seemed she was correct.

He gave the two girls a dazzling smile, purposely showing his perfectly white teeth. He flipped his brunette hair, looked back down at his phone. The longing sigh from the two girls that followed honestly didn't shock James at all. As he stepped out of the elevator, on to floor J, he gave the girls a wink, and smiled sweetly at the old lady. The girls began to giggle, waving at him, and the old woman smiled back, any bad though about him in her mind instantly gone.

It was a bit of a shame, now that he thought about it. A smile and a wink could do so much for you if you were as famous as James was (and he was _very _famous, his name plastered all over magazines and billboards). Sighing, he walked quickly down the hall to his apartment. Well, it wasn't only his. He shared it with Carlos, Logan, and Kendall. He smiled. _Some things never change_, he thought happily.

He put his key in the lock and turned the handle. James stepped into the apartment. He reached over to feel around for a light switch when he felt two hands grab his hands and held them behind his back.

"Man, I _really _hope you're James and not Carlos or Logan," a voice said from the darkness.

James chuckled. He would know the voice anywhere. Laughing, he spun around and put his arms around the waist belonging to that voice. Using one hand, he flipped the light switch on, illuminating both James and Kendall in light.

"And why, exactly, did you try to kidnap me, good sir?" James said in a fake British accent, still smiling.

Kendall gave him a goofy grin and said in an equally as bad accent, "Well, kind sir, I was going to ask you to join me for a nice dinner at Che Fanci tonight, you know, to celebrate our four year anniversary. But now, I'm debating whether I should take you at all, considering you ruined my little game." He gave James a little pout when he was done, as if to enunciate his displeasure at James not playing along.

James decided he would play along this time. After all, he did ruin Kendall's fun. "Well I never! That's quite rude, Mr. Knight. Are you sure you still do not wish for me to join you?"

Kendall put a finger to his lip, as if to ponder an answer. "Well, I saw you had other plans. Your butt and the couch had a date, and I wouldn't want to come between them," he said jokingly, referencing James' tweet.

The brunette grinned. "I don't know. My butt seemed to be getting along rather well with that cute chair at Che Fanci."

Kendall laughed. "Alright then. Let's go, my dear James."

James laughed too, and wrapped his arm around Kendall's waist before exiting the apartment.

They took the elevator down, which James noticed was empty this time. They held hands as they walked through the lobby and out to the parking lot. They got a lot of looks from people, but that was to be expected. James was a pop star and an actor for a sitcom (which conveniently filmed in L.A), and Kendall was the lead singer of a band, which recently hit number fourteen on the top one hundred charts (they both chose to ignore the fact that James was placed at number three). And even though both stars came out to the public two years ago, people still found it hard to believe that two of the hottest men in Hollywood were taken. It was even harder for them to believe that they were taken by _each other_.

They decided to take Kendall's car, a black Mercedes- Benz, because it was much more inconspicuous than James' cherry red convertible. In fact, if James hadn't announced he was gay, people would be shocked that he wasn't constantly surrounded by girls. Ever since Big Time Rush ended about two years ago, James had been thrust into the spotlight (which was exactly where he wanted to be, but that's irrelevant). The public had ignored the other three boys. Kendall just recently broke out into stardom with his new band. Logan had indeed become a doctor, eventually working at one of the most prestigious hospitals in California, and Carlos went on to teach kindergarten through second grade at an elementary school in southern California. Both Logan and Carlos still kept in touch with Kendall and James when they weren't home (because both of their jobs made them travel), making sure to call them twice a week, and update twitter and facebook daily. And yes, it did make more sense for Logan and Carlos to move out of 2J, and get their own homes. But all of the boys couldn't stand to be away from each other for more than a week. To do that permanently would be impossible. So, they simply never moved out, but instead stayed at their girlfriends' house during the work week.

James and Kendall chatted about their day while Kendall drove to the restaurant. Kendall spent all day at a children's hospital in Santa Fe, signing autographs and singing for the kids. James spent all day on the set of his television show, where he played the main role. His character was a twenty something year old that was a huge flirt and player, and constantly had a new girlfriend in the show. He liked pretending he was straight on the show because he could kiss the girls and not feel guilty, because he knew he wasn't cheating on Kendall.

When they pulled up in front of the restaurant, a valet was there to park the car for them. James slung his arm around Kendall and they entered the restaurant. A waiter popped up beside them. "Good evening, Mr. Knight and Mr. Diamond. How can I help you?"

Kendall smiled. "Hello, Nathaniel. Can we have our usual table please?" The waiter nodded, leading them to small, secluded table in the far right corner of the restaurant. While James was sitting down, Kendall nudged the waiter. "Did you do the favor I asked earlier?"

The waiter nodded. "When should I bring it?"

Kendall thought a moment. "After dinner. I'll call you over and ask for dessert. That's when you bring it."

The waiter nodded. Kendall sat down across from James, smiling at his boyfriend. "I'll be right back with your entrees, sirs." Then he left. James glanced at Kendall.

"What does he mean? We haven't ordered anything!"

The blonde man laughed. "I had him prepare all your favorites. The entire dinner is already cooked for us."

James grinned. That was so sweet of him to do! "Oh god, Kendall. Thank you. You know I love when you get all sweet."

Kendall blushed and said, "You're welcome, Jamie."

They both smiled at the nickname James had been called his entire life. At that moment, their water returned with their food. He brought out fried oysters, which was one James' absolute favorite dishes, and steaming clams, which was a close second.

"That was great," he said when they finished it.

"And, dinner's on it's way…" Kendall said with a smile. James smiled back, silently wondering how he ended up with such a great boyfriend.

For dinner, the waiter brought out tons of food. There was steak, fish, vegetables, chicken, cucumber salad and everything James liked to eat. When they finished eating, James grabbed Kendall's hand. "I'm really lucky to have someone like you, Kendall." The man smiled, slowly intertwining their hands. Kendall kissed the back of James hand.

"Nathaniel," he called. The waiter came over immediately. "Bring out dessert, please?"

James began to protest. "Ugh, no! I'm so full!"

Kendall looked at his boyfriend. "We'll share it. I had it made special just for you."

The waiter brought outer a platter. When he set it down, James thought he was going to cry.

When they were kids, back in Minnesota, Kendall and James would hang out everyday. And every Saturday, they would go get ice cream at an old parlor that was there. They did this from the time they were six until they turned thirteen. On James' thirteen birthday, the ice cream shop closed for good, never to be open again. Which meant the one flavor James loved, and always ate, Raspberry Passionfruit, was never to be tasted again either.

But sitting in front of him right now, was a bowl of ice cream that looked suspiciously like Raspberry Passionfruit.

James looked at Kendall wide- eyed, and immediately tasted the creamy dessert. At the familiar taste of his favorite childhood snack, James smiled the biggest smile Kendall had ever seen.

James started talking about his childhood memories while he gulped down the frozen treat. But when he tasted the last spoonful, he knew something was off. Kendall's eyes got very big, and James pulled a silver ring out of his mouth. It was encrusted in diamonds along the sides of the band, and it glimmered in the dim lighting.

"What… what is this?" he whispered, shock on his face.

Kendall took the ring, and slowly knelt in front of his boyfriend of four years. "I guess," he said in a shaky voice. "This is me, asking James Diamond to officially be my partner for the rest of our lives."

James stammered, his breath speeding up. Kendall was… proposing? But… how? Wait, what, why? Why now? Thoughts sped through James mind and he just couldn't handle it. He didn't know what to do.

So he got up and ran out.

Looking back now, James supposed it wasn't the smartest thing to do at the moment. There were a million better ways to solve that problem.

It wasn't like he didn't want to be with Kendall. About an hour after, James knew in his heart that he did want to be with him. Except by running out, Kendall probably thought James was saying "no".

And he wasn't saying no at all. He was saying yes. He was going to tell Kendall yes. As soon as he got the courage.

But first, he needed to get home. Upon deciding that, James took a taxi back to the Palm Woods. He rode up the elevator, not feeling nearly as content as he did the first two times he rode this elevator today.

He opened the door to 2J and stepped inside quickly. He heard a noise and saw Kendall get up off the couch.

"Listen. I'm not mad. Okay, I'm a little mad. But only because you took off on me. If you don't want to be with me like that yet, it's fine! We don't have to be. I'm cool with whatever. I just want you right now, James. I feel like I screwed up-"

Kendall didn't get much farther because then James was kissing him. He was kissing him like he never had before, and it was full of love and passion. James hoped that it managed to convey some of his love for Kendall. Which apparently it did, because he pulled James back to the couch. Kendall climbed on top of James and straddled him. He leaned down and kissed him back ferociously.

After about ten minutes of the two boys making out on the couch (which ended up resulting in James with his shirt off and Kendall's pants unbuttoned), Kendall pulled away.

"So are you officially saying yes then?"

James pulled the blonde man in for a slow, sweet kiss. It lasted for a minute or two and then James pulled away, quietly whispering the one word Kendall had been waiting to hear all night.

"Yes."

**Ugh. And then you all killed me for writing this train wreck I call a story. It's honestly just something I came up with at dinner, so I know it's probably really freaking bad. Ugh. I apologize for this. I don't even know… Dear god. I'm just going to go hide in the corner now, kay?**

**(Am I asking too much by asking for reviews? Because maybe, if you guys reviewed it, telling me WHY it sucked, I could make sure I didn't make the same mistakes next time.)**


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